The Dilbert Principle

Jag tänkte citera lite ur The Dilbert Principle, det är en bok som jag lyssnade på som ljudbok för ett tag sen. Den var så bra att jag beställde boken och fick den förra veckan. Jag tänkte dra ut några stycken ur kapitlet “Engineers, Scientists, Programmers, and Other Odd People”.

To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories: (1) things that need to be fixed, and (2) things that will need to be fixed after you’ve had a few minutes to play with them. Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems. Normal people don’t
understand this concept; they believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.

Sådär är jag enda ner till minsta detaljen. Du kan fråga mina föräldrar. Det där har varit jag sen jag föddes.

Engineer Identification Test
You walk into a room and notice that a picture is hanging crooked.
You…

A. Straighten it
B. Ignore it.
C. Buy a CAD system and spend the next six months designing a solar-powered, self-adjusting picture frame while often stating aloud your belief that the inventor of the nail was a total moron.

The correct answer is “C” but partial credit can be given to anybody who writes “It depends” in the margin of the test or simply blames the whole supid thing on “Marketing”

Clothes are the lowest priority for an engineer, assuming the basic thresholds for temperature and decency have been satisfied. If no appendages are freezing for sticking togheter, and if no genitalia or mammary glands are swinging around in plain view, then the objective of clothing has been met. Anything else is a waste

Jag har lärt mig lite på senare tid. Men under större delen av mitt liv är det där exakt så jag har tänkt.

Advice
Engineers are always delighted to share wisdom, even in areas in which they have no experience whatsoever. Their logic provides them with inherent insight into any field of expertise. This can be a problem when dealing with the illogical people who believe that knowledge can only be derived through experience.

Be inte mig om råd om du inte vill ha ett långt utläggande svar utan egentlig grund mer än min deduktiva logik.

Ego
Ego-wise, two things are important to engineers:
How smart they are.
How many cool devices they own.

The fastest way to get an engineer to solve a pproblem is to declare that the problem is unsolvable. No engineer can walk away from an unsolvable problem until it’s solved. No illness or distraction is sufficient to get the engieer off the case. These types of challenges quickly become personal — a battle between the engineer and the laws of nature.
Engineers will go without food and hygiene for days to solve a problem. (Other times just because they forgot.) And when they succeed in solving the problem they will experience an ego rush that is better than sex — and I’m including the kind of sex where other people are involved. Not only is it better at the moment, but it lasts for as
long as people will listen to the engieer’s tale of conquest.

Jag kan inte sova och jag äter knappt om jag stöter på ett problem jag inte kan lösa. Det skall lösas. Så är det bara. Detta exempel förklaras i följande text också. Som förklarar varför du inte hör av mig ibland.

Powers of concentration
If there is one trait that best defines an engineer it is the ability to concentrate on one subject to the complete exclusion of everyting else in the environment. This sometimes causes engineers to be pronounced dead prematurely. There are numerous reports of engineers who were halfway through the embalming process before they sat up and shouted something like: “I’ve got it–all it needs is a backup relay circuit!!”.